XxCarnationxX

This must be why all the famous writers are drug addicted. Where can creativity come from but intoxication? At this moment I feel more than I ever do. I feel more connected to the world. I can feel the universe flowing through me. All my atoms are just like those of everything else. Oneness will be achieved. How can this be bad? Intoxication. Is it not just another form of enlightenment? Everyone has their own drug. Some choose to experience nature in its extremes. To allow their physical forms to suffer and endure the air that surrounds us all. Again, we find connection. Is there different air? We must all breathe the same. T

the light flickers i feel like i'm in a convenient store on some indie film in which the lethargic employee won't change the light my mind flickers with it i feel like i'm bouncing from one point in time to another for a split second, i'm a time traveler i ruin the fourth dimension with my greed for more than a moment in another time i cry for a taste of my past life maybe in a place which the light does not flicker in a place where my mind does not flicker maybe i'd be a better me maybe.

I'm thrown over the edge into the sea attached to nothing but your sleeve i weep. its being trapped in wide open space. the words escape my mouth a mouse replaces them in my throat and i squeak a sad song. and every time you pull me closer but i push you into the water i am drowning you but it is me who cannot breath.

i. slowly losing memories thoughts falling from the sky lightning bolts of poetry flash before my eyes ii. caught between now and then when i can and when i can't lost in the cracks of time so far i can't even hear the clock iii. deep in that gaze of yours i cant barely breath lips like closed doors tongue-tied like knots in a tree

the raindrops pelting the window sound so dull in comparison to the trumpet in the background you face looks so dull in the sterile lighting we're forced to wait under will he even care what we look like? i doubt he'll even look our way at all. it doesn't matter to me anyway i've got music blasting through my brain lighting up all the right parts on an MRI machine and you've got all the right parts of your face lighting up as you look my way and the lady at the reception desks asks us what's our problem? i think we've forgotten. suddenly it all seems pointless we have our spats but in the end they don't matter and i realize if we

i miss being told i can have five more minutes, even tho we were supposed to leave an hour ago and i love when they say on the news it will rain tomorrow but mother nature surprises you with light fluffy clouds, not black doomed ones. i remember how you used to make promises to me and i'd forget them, so i couldn't be mad when they were broken you used to play with my hair and rock me until my eyes were sewn shut now there's not even a "goodnight" shared between us i forgot about how everything happened how we got here... how i got to this point. and i try to remember more but its mostly things that hurt that can be remembered s

he wrote a poem on my arm only, it wasn't on my arm and it wasn't quite a poem but it was wonderful and when i chewed on it it tasted like love but that one line it stuck between my teeth with no possible way of getting it out he said i was beautiful and i'm not sure what that means. i looked up the definition and all there was were words i'd never heard so i asked him and he said: its the way you smile the freckle on your cheek the hair that falls in your face when you look up at me he said look in the mirror, its what you see but when i looked all i saw was me.

i can feel my brain working sending messages to my body telling my fingers to freeze its in shock feels like i'm no longer inside my body, but rather, i'm another layer in my skin and i can't move my arms fall to my sides to remain typing is a challenge i can feel my muscles talking to my brain they say no     they won't move i see myself but i'm still me i'm still within my body just... radiating into my skin into my muscles into my organs no longer just one whole i feel every part of me and it hurts and i hurt

i said i love you and to some that might mean i'll pull the fuzzies from your socks and i'll save them in that little purple box that i keep by my bed but to me it means that i'll keep my promises to you and that i'll keep your heart in that little purple box and maybe i'll let you keep mine if you promise to have a place for it i'll keep these moments forever until they smell like dirt until they rust like iron until they fade until they fade away just don't forget when you move, that my heart is next to those shoes in that little pink box its shaped like a valentine but don't be confused thats my heart i left it the